A Working Mom

I want to start by writing this statement. Being a mom is tough. It’s the toughest thing I’ve ever done or probably ever will do because I am solely responsible for another human being and that thought alone makes me want to hyperventilate which is why I don’t think about it often and just let my life happen.

I’ve also come to the conclusion that parents flat out lie about how hard being a new parent is. And my favorite lie of all, “It’s fine. You’ll be tired but just sleep when the baby sleeps.” Face palm.

First. When the baby sleeps I’m doing one of three things: eating, because it’s 1:00 PM and I’ve yet to put a single crumb of anything into my body, or I’m showering, because baby vomit is one of the worst smells and personal hygiene is still a priority, or I’m cleaning the house or doing laundry because being in a messy place gives me an anxiety attack. I do not “sleep when the baby sleeps” because there are a thousand other things to do during those precious moments when the baby is sleeping.

I figure people lie about how hard it is for one of two reasons. First, because it’s an evil plot to ensure that the world remains populated. Or second (and the most likely reason) is everyone wants to save face and pretend like they have it all together; that their child isn’t the spawn of Satan because all they do is scream and cry and God help you if you even dream about putting them down.

Now. I’ll be honest. I have a pretty good baby and I’m pretty lucky. But still. There are moments when I think about the logistics of putting him back where he came from. Continue reading

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Baby Boy!

I guess I need to start this post by announcing the birth of my sweet boy! He arrived on March 11, 2015 at 12:32 AM. He was 8 pounds 1 ounce and 20 inches. And his head circumference was 14.5 inches. Such a big boy!

Wow. After writing that, I just realized how long it’s been since I’ve written a post! Eek!

My water broke early on a Monday morning and arrived on a Wednesday morning and he’d only come via a c-section due to fetal destress. Though the whole birthing ordeal was the exact opposite of how my husband and I had planned (but really, when has anything gone as planned in our relationship) I wouldn’t change it for anything because I have the most incredible little man.

I never knew that I could love someone so much. And the best part? I’m continuously falling in love with him all over again, all the time. With children, they’re constantly growing, constantly evolving and you get the chance to fall in love with them all over again at every stage of their life. You love them the first time you hold them. But then you feel a different, new kind of love the first time they giggle at a funny face you make; it’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt. It’s the most amazing love that there is.

Slow Roasting

Childhood nicknames. Every one in my family has one. Mine is “Twice Baked” because I tried to come way too early and then I eventually made my debut, still two weeks ahead of schedule; I’ve always been punctual, just wanted to make sure I wasn’t late. And wouldn’t luck have it, my son is late… I’m now 40 weeks and three days. So now, my little man has a new family nickname, “Slow Roast”.

Go figure. Not even born yet and he’s already taking after his Daddy who was two weeks late. Don’t get me started on his size… at 36 weeks, he was already over 7 pounds, almost 21 inches and all legs. Again, like his Daddy. Apparently, I’m just the incubator. But, really, I’m a willing host. It’s been a wonderful feeling watching him grow in my tummy, move around when I’m trying to fall asleep and his little hiccups, that is just the strangest feeling. Continue reading

Something Old, Borrowed and Blue

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When I was younger, my parents had given me a journal for Christmas. I wrote in that thing all the time – I wrote down all my frustrations and all my hopes and dreams for my future. Even then, I had the foresight to save three pages at the end of my childhood journal. Those three pages were saved for three special occasions, the things that I was looking forward to more than anything in the world; the three things that I knew even as a child would be the most important days of my life because they were the things I wanted more than anything.

First, the day I graduated from high school; this was a huge milestone I was looking forward to – the sense of accomplishment, freedom and adulthood. The second, the day I got married. I wanted to capture my real life fairytale, the happily ever after. The third, the day I gave birth to my first child. This would be the day when I acknowledged the fact that my former self and my former life were forever changed, changed for the better.

The twelve year old version of me was pretty smart, right? Continue reading

A Country (Mostly) Wedding Playlist

Playlist

As I have mentioned in previous posts, my fiancé and I are having a small wedding celebration with our family and closest friends after a private ceremony with our family.

So, I have been busy creating a “we-got-married” playlist for the wedding celebration.

My fiancé and I are avid country music lovers, hence the “Country Wedding Playlist” title. Though the playlist consists of mostly Country music and artists, there are some surprises in there!

I hope you enjoy the playlist as much as I enjoyed creating it! Continue reading

Juggling Many Exhausted Hats

I am a planner. I am an organizer. I am a control freak. Some would argue that these are some of my best qualities but as my soon-to-be husband might argue, they might also be some of my worst qualities. As much as my soon-to-be husband loves that I’m organized, I’m sure it’s getting to the point where I’m just annoying him (and probably nagging him). I’m constantly reminding him of all the things we still have to do to get the baby’s room ready, all the things we still need to buy to prepare for said baby, I’m constantly reminding him of the importance of budgeting and saving money to cover my maternity leave and our son’s child care once I return to the office; and the list goes on and on.

My brain never really turns off. I have about a million things going through my mind on any given day and I context-shift a lot; which I’m learning is very difficult when the pregnancy brain really kicks in during the third trimester. Continue reading

The Start of Something New

Remember the life you imagined when you were a younger version of yourself?

If you were anything like me, I imagined every little detail of it; the perfect boy that I would meet and fall in love with and the perfect fairytale love that we would share. I imagined the perfect proposal and the perfect ring. I imagined the perfect wedding with all of my friends and family in attendance going on and on about how beautiful I was; the perfect bride in a stunning white dress. Then, after being happily and blissfully married for a year, I would find out that I was pregnant and then my husband and I would happily begin planning the next chapter of our perfect life.

Well. Remember when you realized that all of those things you imagined when you were younger didn’t quite turn out the way you thought they would?

That’s been my life for the last five months. Continue reading